beauty and the beastt

NOOOOOOO ONEEEEE FIGHTS LIKE GASTON! DOUSES LIGHTS LIKE GASTON! IN A WRESTLING MATCH NOBODY BITES LIKE GASTON!!!!!

Needless to say, I have just watched the live action adaptation of Beauty and the Beast. And can I just say, what. a. beaut.

This will be an incredibly SPOILERY review, so beware! Also, lots of paraphrased quotes because I have terrible memory.

This movie was such a huge part of my childhood, and Belle has always been my second-favorite princess (the first being Mulan, because c’mon, she dresses up like a dude! Kicks everyone’s butts! Saves the day!). But anyway, I was LITERALLY bouncing in my seat while I waited for the movie to start.

Obviously, the movie wasn’t perfect. The Beast’s body animation really bothered me, seeming a bit stiff and lacking the weight that he obviously had, but his facial animation COMPLETELY made up for that. You could really see the actor behind all the fur, and his facial expressions were great. The things that bothered me were mostly technical (like the lighting at certain points) and the final credits witH CELINE DION, WHAT SORT OF SOAP OPERA-Y THING WAS THAT???

Buuut I forgive the cheese factor, mostly out of nostalgia.

My top two favorite scenes were definitely the Gaston song one and then the fight with the villagers in the castle, mostly because they were pure comedy gold. In the former, Lefou’s singing and then he belts out “Nobody bites like Gaston!” and then he liFTS UP HIS SHIRT AND THERE’S A BITe MARK ON HIS BELLY??? And goodness, I will never get over the wonderfulness that is the following sentence: “I use antlers in all my deeeecoratiiing!”

And then, in the villagers vs. furniture fight, when Ms. Pots tell Lefou that he’s too good for Gaston, I was just cackling nonstop…something that morphed into I’m-gonna-pee-my-pants laughter when the Wardrobe attacked the three musketeer guys with dresses and makeup, and while two of them ran away shrieking, one of them just freakin’ found himself and elegantly strolled off, grinning happily.

One thing, though, that made me all warm and fuzzy was the whole lot of strangely self-aware characters. Lefou -“I’VE JUST REALIZED I’M ILLITERATE”- and Cogsworth -“These people are all idiots, how did I end up here” – being prime examples.

I wrote down so many quotes from the movie, it’s not even funny, I’m gonna be quoting it years from now (probably in moments that have nothing to do with said quotes).

Person: Alina, can you pass me the salt?

Me: *Lefou voice* She’s so well-read and you’re so…athletically inclined.

Person: ???

I must say that I still prefer the Beast as the Beast and not as the I-Am-Cleanshaven-Despite-Not-Having-Shaved-In-Several-Years Prince. Like, I get his appearance was sort of frozen in time or whatever, but all the other characters had some sort of leftover characteristic from their furniture-selves, so shouldn’t he have at least a lil’  bit of scruff? No?

Aaaaanyway, I liked the quirkier Beast (“Romeo and Juliet? BUT ALL THAT PINING”) and the tougher Belle (SHE WAS WEARING BOOTS AND NOT RUNNING AROUND IN BALLET FLATS YAS), and I pretty much melted into a gooey mess of teenage girl, over the SETS and the CLOTHES and the SONGS and the BACKGROUND STORIES. Overall, I enjoyed the adaptation, buuuuut the animation still occupies a special place in my heart.

P.S. What’s with all the tomato soup

P.P.S. I could really relate to Belle and her obvious need to marry the Beast’s library.

P.P.P.S. I forgive the cheesiness, heck, I even forgive the Celine Dion misuse, but I do not, and will never forgive, the Prince’s growl during the last dance. Shame on you people.

shame shame shame

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